Last Friday, USA Today devoted the better part of a two-page spread on The Best of Las Vegas Nightlife, a pictorial written by Kitty Bean Yancey with the input of Vegas “panelists” Norm Clarke (Las Vegas Review-Journal gossip columnist), Anthony Curtis (LasVegasAdvisor.com), Sarah Feldberg (Las Vegas Weekly), Oscar Goodman (outgoing Mayor of downtown Las Vegas), Dan Hippler (Vegas.com), Jack Houston (Las Vegas Magazine), John Katsilometes (Las Vegas Sun), and Abby Tegnalia (VEGAS magazine).
I have to tell you, I was pretty dumbstruck by it. I had to check the date of the paper—and wonder how much input my colleagues actually had. Because without exception, every single one of the choices—most of which wouldn’t generally be considered ‘nightlife’ specifically—could have been made two years ago. If not longer. YAWN.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t disagree that all of the winners are deserving. But if you’re delivering a new article in a daily newspaper which has the word TODAY in its name, shouldn’t you be giving some information that is, well, new? Just for one example, shouldn’t you find a way to at least mention, even name-drop, the Cosmopolitan, the new resort which no one could deny has become an instant game-changer for the Strip? As a destination, Vegas is changing literally every week. If you want to be serious about covering it, you can’t give people information that’s six months old, or even six weeks.
So for those of you that saw it, and are visiting Las Vegas soon, let me offer some alternative Bests:
Best Attraction: USA Today’s winner, The fountains of Bellagio
First of all the category says Best Attraction, not Best Free Attraction. While there’s no denying that the fountains are a Must-See (if you can tolerate all the costumed freaks and protesters that now congregate in front of it), there are an awful lot of other interesting and fun diversions, including other water features at City Center and the Mirage volcano (both also by Bellagio fountain designers WET), the world-class art installations of City Center, Bellagio’s Conservatory, Mandalay Bay’s Shark Reef, Tropicana’s Mob Experience, Imperial Palace’s massive Auto Collections, the list really does go on.
Best fine-dining restaurant: USA Today’s winner, Joel Robuchon
Well of course, the French legend’s only North American fine dining spot (he has another L’Atelier in New York) is de rigeur, as it has been for the last six or so years. But what about all the new and notable restaurants in Aria and the Cosmopolitan, including Sage, American Fish, Scarpetta, Blue Ribbon, Jaleo, Estiatorio Milos and more? Then there’s Guy Savoy, Twist, Michael Mina, RM Seafood, Bartolotta, Le Cirque, B&B… Vegas has so many truly great restaurants that choosing one “best” when there are so many close seconds is almost unfair.
Best Bar: USA Today’s winner, The Fremont East District Downtown
First of all, that’s not one bar, but a city block full of several cool spots including Beauty Bar, Don’t Tell Mama, The Griffin, Downtown Cocktail Room, The Vanguard, Insert Coins, and Emergency Arts. Which are all fun, but most of them aren’t much different than what you’d find in any typical small city (also, it’s the equivalent to declaring a food court “best restaurant”). If you had to pick one single bar?? I’d send you to Vesper or Chandelier at Cosmopolitan. But that’s just me. Oh wait, that’s not just me, actually. Locals and tourists alike are flocking to both.

Marquee Club press shot: Imagine this packed full of people with a famous DJ killin' it. You will never see it this empty.
Best nightclub: USA Today’s winner, TAO
TAO??? Sorry, but the TAO Group’s own new Marquee club in the Cosmopolitan leaves their original Vegas landmark in the dust, for DJs, ambiance, drinks, everything. Not even a contest.

Someone else's shot of the oh-so-sexy Pho Kim Long... nothing glamorous, but even Daniel Boulud said it was his favorite local spot when he was here.
Best locals’ value dining: USA Today’s winner, Firefly on Paradise
Sure, Firefly presents passable tapas in a comfortable environment but seriously there are so many happy hour specials around town, you rarely hear anyone talk about hitting Firefly except as a standby. The real exciting scene in locals’ dining is on Spring Mountain, where all kinds of amazing Asian eateries flourish, including—in particular—Raku, Monta, Ichiza, and many Pho spots, none of which you have to make excuses for. Then there’s the unique Bachi Burger (no Angelenos, it is not the Umami Burger ripoff you think it is). If you had to pick one value spot that locals swear by? It’s Pho Kim Long. Duh.
Best show: USA Today’s winner, The Beatles LOVE
Sure, LOVE—celebrating its 5th anniversary–is an amazing show, if you love Beatles music (and by the way, Yancey mentioned Paul and Ringo but neglected to note George Harrison’s integral involvment in making the show happen). But new show Absinthe, while not on the same scale, and much more adult, is also an impressive only-in-Vegas attraction. Then there’s Cirque du Soleil’s O, Jersey Boys, Human Nature, Garth, Celine… what am I forgetting? A lot, actually.
Best strip club: USA Today’s winner, Spearmint Rhino
Since I don’t frequent strip clubs, I can’t really comment on this. But every time someone recommends “the Rhino,” which yes, is most popular with locals by far, I ask them “how many other strip clubs have you checked out, and how exactly are you judging them?” Crickets.